I miss things. I've always told myself that if I could go back and change something, I wouldn't. But, now, I would change a lot.

I wouldn't have quit.

I would have shown up when I said I would.

I would have grown up and said what I felt, not what I thought I should have felt.

I would have told the truth.

I wouldn't have spent time with the people who, in the long run, don't matter, and I would have enjoyed being with the genuine, good people.

I would finally sit down and finish something.

I wouldn't miss things.

I took a break, but I'm losing my sanity, and wanted to return.

When I heard about the terrorist attacks in India, I said to myself that I'll never go to India. That's also the reason I'm not planning on going to any major city (other than MY city - it's worth it). I'm not really planning on going anywhere.

It's 100 percent irrational to fear these kinds of things, I know, but I do anyway. And I realized today that it's never going to stop. Stopping the fear means stopping the source, and stopping the source means getting rid of free will, of these people's desire to kill. It's just not going to happen. So this is obviously something I'm going to have to deal with, I guess.

I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just let it happen. If that would make the fear stop, it might be worth it. Maybe.

Not So Much, No

This is the third night I've had this cold. I got about 4 hours of sleep the first night, and 2.75 last night - yeah, I spent most of the time counting down until my alarm went off. I'm trying to think of a name for it, but the only thing I can come up with is Foul-Weather Friend, which is terrible. But I am NOT missing work tomorrow. It's coworker survey day, and I have a lot to say.

I'm going to go cough and wish I had Wall*E.

So, after a longer-than-expected period of actually border-line getting along with my sister, we're back to where we used to be. The good thing is that I've actually got a lot of stuff to work with here, as opposed to last time, when she played her natural manipulative bitch card to screw me over.

She doesn't realize that she carelessly left herself logged in to her Yahoo email, and that I have her Facebook password, and that I have a lot of dirt that she really, really would not want me to have.

But, and this is using her words, I'm "worried" about her, and as her sister, it's all justified.

As someone who cries during stupid public service announcements and during Will Ferrell movies, it's no surprise to me that I can't help but shed a few happy/whatever tears tonight. I think I'm just proud that someone competent, dedicated and seemingly-perfect can now speak for us, as opposed to what we've had.

Okay, on another note, I'm going to copy facebook statuses (stati?) as the results of Obama's win go around (though, being in the state that I am, I am not going to put the true feelings of some people):

*KM is this guy has wanted to be a politician since he was a kid. This is a check off his list. Congrats on your inexperienced socialist president.

*AT is going to crawl under a rock and stay there for 4 years...maybe 8...maybe more.

*AC is moving out of the country.

*JJ is the people have spoken. And this is proof of the Palin Defect.

*MN Well this is the day socialism begins I really think I am going move to Europe for a couple of years who's with me?
1 Comment
BP: No thanks, Ill enjoy my socialism, have fun with their fascism.

*SH is Change can be done. History has been made. Obama 2008!

*BN is Europe here i come...how can an anti-American, socialist be the leader of the free world..

*RT is sad for the future...but united behind God and country.

*MP blah blah blah blah Barack Obama blah blah blah.

*WD is proud of B-Rack!!!!

*ML is FREAKING OUT!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!

*SW Moving to Australia

*EL is this is one of the most memorable dayS in my life. LONG LIVE PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!!!!

*LB is thanking God that the right man won the election!!! MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!!!! Yes We Did!! Congratulations to President Barack Obama!!! say something!

*CF SO MADDDDDDDDDdd ughhhhh.

*LW is OHHHHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*MC just witnessed history. You Republicans can move to another country. REAL Americans are proud of their country right now.

*KP is speechless..Who wants to go in to buy a private island with me?
- 2 Comments
JD:
I do.
CF:
I'll help you buy the island.

*AT is movin to mexico.

*CF is going to stay in italy for the next four years.

*AT uuuugggghhhh.

*LC is OUR new President. Sweet deal.

*RQ is welcome to the U.S.S.A.

*MJ is EXCITED ABOUT OBAMA BEING PRESIDENT......BRING MY BLACK ASS HOME FROM IRAQ.....

*ME is moving to hong kong!

*KC Now is the four-year winter of my discontent. I cannot express how disappointed I am for this country.

*PH thinking America screwed itself today.

*BR is alright i'm running for president in 2012.



I just think it's funny...slash sad...slash scary...

I Appreciate You Being With Us Tonight, Via HOLLAgram

Sigh. My state is the suck.

The Kidney Problems Aren't Connected

So the maintenance guy is here fixing my heat. You have NO idea how on edge I am. I rearranged all my weapons, though, to make it easier if I need them. And I also baked cookies beforehand to give to him before he leaves. Maybe that'll give me some good vibes and make my heat work.

I wish I had cleaned more.